Congrats. You get to witness my first real-type blog on a website that isn't myspace. You should be so lucky...
Well, here is it. The life of me...
These past few weeks have been making be question far too much than I care to be doing right now.
When really, I should be finishing my Brian Simmons paper that's due in...oh, less than 3 hours.
I love it here at Cascade, I really do. More so than I ever thought possible. I have made some amazing friends that I will keep with me whether they like it or not. I have found my niche in Deltas and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I'm just getting involved with ASBC and that has been cool too. I feel like I am finally going somewhere and not just sitting around waiting to be noticed, which I did for far too long. Choir has turned out to be a flop, but that is the least of my worries. I love Cascade. But, academically, it has nothing I want. I have tried to adjust my wants to fit it but in all reality, it doesn't. I can't change the things I like. I just can't.
So I went out with coffee with two friends. As we were talking, a preposition if you will, was proposed. Basically, we would get an apartment (and we looked and found the perfect one) and only one of us would go to Cascade full time next year. It's not me. If this move happened, I would come for a few classes, nothing major though. But if you think about it...it is SOOO much cheaper for me. A community college CLASS -mind you, CLASS- is cheaper than a CREDIT at Cascade. But Heather, you might say, remember you have to pay for utilities and food and such? Well, we did that math too. It's cheaper. Sure we need jobs, but I had one of those, I could do it again. Gah, it would be amazing. I could take things that actually interested me! ! The whole overall goal is to raise out GPAs which then could lead to more money. If I care and had interest in the classes I am positive I could excel in them.
But here is my problem. I want to come back to Cascade. I want to graduate. I do. I need that closure. But I want to be able to pick up where I left off. But I don't think that will be possible. You see, living with a male roommate can't look good. Oh yeah, did I mention that? One of them is male. I know it wouldn't be that sort of an issue. We're friends and if we were anything more I wouldn't put myself in that situation. But I'm afraid of what that will look like. Because if I were to come back I would really like to be in a leadership position with Deltas as well as ASBC. But since Cascade is what it is, I worry they will look down on my for living with a boy. Is that dumb? I know he would say it is, but really. Think of how it looks. And I know it's between us and God but I really don't want that to have an effect on...eligibility I guess you could say?
It's just really hard. I really want this. I'm pretty sure the only thing that is keeping me from jumping in all the way is how people will react. Will they lose any respect they had for me? Will it make me look bad? I hate it. I am so confused. And stressed. And I'm not going to lie, a bit pms-y.
Input would be lovely....really. Anything. Good. Bad. Random....anything.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Well, see....here's the thing.
Posted by heather. at 6:17 AM
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5 comments:
dont even worry about
I really like that. I think it would do you a lot of good to be able to take classes that you want to take. Cascade is wonderful in so many ways, but it has a way of sucking you in so that next thing you know you're over $80k in debt with a degree that you never even wanted. Just don't end up like me and say that you're getting out of there for a reason and then just end up slaving away at a rather dead end job, haha. I left one rut only to get stuck in another one.
And hey, if you guys need another roommate... eh? I'm just saying. :)
i would understand.
people say not to live with a boy-from my own understading-is because it will lead to things. sinful things mind you, not things such as playing board games until 2a.m., or having to put the seat down when he forgets, but yeah. the temptation for sex is what people warn against. but then there's you and him-great friends, and there's also her. and im sure that 3 is a crowd, so im not worried. just make sure he puts the seat down and flushes.
i really hope that it really does work out. i know you do well in classes you are interested in, and this way i supppse you'll be able to have a wider variety of things to choose from. and we all know variety is great-look how many purses you've owned, and how many skirts i have :) and to do it all for less-wahoo.
i guess im just going to miss you two. i gonna miss you like the delta sister i never had. mah. you better call for rides to campus. actually text. texting is better for people like us :)
Don't worry about what everyone will say. Yeah, it's important to you, but, what's most important is that you do what you want to do. You can save a LOT of money by not going to Cascade. Oooh honey, let me tell you...as much as I absolutely love Cascade and miss it dearly, I can't believe how much $$$ I spent in just one year. I was able to go to the school here completely free with a federal grant. It's WAY worth it. Just figure out what's most important to you...the classes, $$$, the people, etc. It's not like you can't go back and visit all the time, right? :)
Rebecca
Everybody is different. When I went to Community College for 2 years before Cascade, the government paid ME to go to school. I didn't have to work.
Like Brian Simmons says, Cascade is not for everyone...although I don't think it completely applies to you. You fit at Cascade, but I understand the money thing.
What if you finished all the rest of your education at Community College except for 1 class and then transfer back to be a Cade Alum? Jussayin'.
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